Alpha-Hero Gardners Apply Here

Not surprisingly, I dream of my heroes. I mean who wouldn’t want a hot, understanding guy who instinctively knows when to stand back because you’re in control and when to step up and take control? They cook. They clean. They somehow remain hot, alpha males.

But today, all I really want is Matt Lawson, my garden designer hero from The Heiress and Her Fake Fiancé. I love gardening, so you’d think my yard would look awesome. Not so much. We spent 15 years working on the house. All the money went into the house. In the early days I tried to work on the yard too. But for several years I heralded in spring with crutches. By the time I could walk again, it was 100 degrees outside and the dirt was now clay brick. Somehow the chickweed continued to take over.

So this weekend I came out of a cleaning haze long enough to glance out a window and thought, What Would Matt Do? I’m pretty sure what he would do is come through with a flamethrower.

The big problem is that a garden that 15 years ago got mostly sun now gets mostly shade. So what plants remain are spindly and maybe get one bloom. Maybe. I can sort of see what I want to be there. A water garden in a raised bed full of anything and everything that blooms in the shade. Because at the end of the day, I still want an English cottage garden.

Foxglove. Phlox. A bunch of stuff with Latin names I can’t pronounce that bloom from March to November. Yeah, I see the issue. What I want is a full sun garden, what I have is a full shade space.

If Matt could just wander into the yard, or maybe I could run into that guy from HGTV who haunts home improvement garden centers and fixes your yard in a weekend…the things they could accomplish. After they stopped shaking their heads in disgust. And started the flamethrower.

No. No pictures. Mostly because it’s 8:30 at night and this is when it looks its best. But if any of you have seen my hero wandering around, send him to my yard. I have a little project for him.


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