This weekend I went to the beach to write. It was supposed to be a weekend filled with lots of plotting and writing and a little bit of personal introspection. (Is there any other kind of introspection?) What I got was a ton of introspection and a little bit of writing. On the upside, all the walking and introspection meant I didn’t gain any weight, and given what I was eating and drinking, that’s a miracle in itself.

In the middle of all the fun emotional stuff I put myself through, I realized the blog isn’t working. Now, for the three of you who read this regularly, that’s not news. A quick look at post dates will tell you that I’m not doing this on any regular schedule. The problem has been I didn’t have a theme for this thing.

Do I write about writing? Hmm, probably not. Writers read writing blogs, but we don’t usually support the blog authors by buying their books. There are lots of reasons for that which I’m not going to get into. So while readers do enjoy learning some of how we get the words on the page (lots of banging head against walls and drinking tequila), you don’t want to read about it every day.

And there’s a limit to how many bits of trivia I can concoct about a fictional town and the people who live there. Do you really want to know the name of the puppy Matt and Jess get six months after The Heiress and Her Fake Fiancé ends? Not really, which is good, because until I typed that sentence, I didn’t know they had one.

I liked the daily journal idea. I know I’m supposed to be writing in one, but let’s be real. Write words that pay or write in a journal. Which one would you choose? But writing some form of a journal here, that talks about the adventures of motherhood, writing, finding myself and maybe falling in love? Well, who wouldn’t want to read that?

OK, so two men popped into my head immediately, and to them I say, you probably don’t want to read my blog. Like I said, there was a lot of personal growth at the beach and the one thing I figured out is this: I don’t know who I am.

I’ve spent most of my life trying to please my mother, my ex-husband, my kids, my community… The list goes on. Nowhere on that list was me. That changes today. With this blog.

I’d like to say that I’m going to write here every day (we’ll see what happens). Lucy March did it after she got divorced on her A Year and Change blog. I discovered it recently while cruising the new blog she’s doing with Jenny Crusie and Anne Stewart, who are also taking this year to reFab themselves.

And now, so am I. So fasten your seatbelts folks, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.